So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize