Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
