She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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