bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
