Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
