did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
