I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
