Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
