What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
