Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
