AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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