God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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