whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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