Will you blow on my dice?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Life is so much better after having sex.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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