I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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