the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
