yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
