i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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