The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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