is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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