Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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