marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
