SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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