yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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