"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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