come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
