just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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