Your face is a jimmy john
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
