i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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