she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
