this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
