she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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