i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
