Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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