My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
