Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
