alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
