I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
