Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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