He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
