New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
