Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
