You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
