I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
