Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
