idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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