I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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