i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
