what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
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