How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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