): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Small penises have feelings too.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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