angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
its liver damage thursday
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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