So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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