Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
