Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
