would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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